


Anatomy of a Secret (The Symbiosis Commission Spy Remix)

by punch_kicker15



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Character Study, Episode: s02e03 The Siege (Deep Space Nine), Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26556175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punch_kicker15/pseuds/punch_kicker15
Summary: There are many reasons that it's difficult to argue with Jadzia Dax.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8
Collections: Remix Revival 2020





	Anatomy of a Secret (The Symbiosis Commission Spy Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Beatrice_Otter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beatrice_Otter/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Anatomy of a Secret](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23209807) by [Beatrice_Otter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beatrice_Otter/pseuds/Beatrice_Otter). 



Lusin knew this mission would be trouble the moment Dax greeted Commander Sisko with the enthusiasm of a friend. But Dax  wasn’t content with one slip-up; there was an obvious expression of distress when she  identified herself as Curzon Dax’s daughter. 

And then, after Commander Sisko had invited her to dinner,  Jadzia had said, "Great! Then I can meet Jake, too.”

"I guess Curzon told you a lot about me and my family," the Commander said, with a look of  disquiet in his eyes .  _ Does she even care about giving a convincing performance as Curzon’s daughter? Because the over-familiarity with the Commander’s personal life comes off as bizarre, at best. _

Then Dax "I was so sorry to hear about Jennifer," she said. "I know Curzon would have wished he could be there for you."

"That's … kind of you to say," the Commander said. The halting, stiff response meant that Dax had not only overstepped her boundaries as Curzon’s daughter,  she’d also brought up a sore subject for the Commander .  Lusin could feel an ache behind her ears, a sure sign of anxiety ramping up.

***

When they were finally alone, Lusin squirmed in one of the supremely uncomfortable chairs in the lab. Alien-designed furniture was always uncomfortable, but perhaps the Cardassians were particularly incompetent in design.

Or  perhaps her discomfort was heightened because arguing with Dax was exceptionally difficult. When she raised the importance of keeping the symbionts a secret, Dax said, "Despite what the Symbiosis Commission believes,  the majority of aliens would  _ not _ be interested in having symbionts of their own.  There's no danger in telling the truth, and  we've known that for a  _ long _ time. Benjamin is one of my closest friends, and I'm not going to pretend he's any more of a stranger than I  _ absolutely _ have to."

Lusin wanted to ask,  _ If _ _ you know so much about this man, why can’t you see that you made him uncomfortable with your unexpected knowledge?  _

And,  _ Why _ _ are you are choosing to risk the safety of an entire species, for  _ _ milennia _ _ , for your friendship with one person? _

And,  _ Why _ _ is it so outlandish to you that aliens might want a symbiont? You wanted it so badly you re-applied, even though the Commission had never reversed a rejection before. _

But those sorts of questions could be viewed as personal criticisms, an impertinent lack of required deference to a joined Trill. She couldn’t deviate from the talking points of the Symbiosis Commission. She was just Lusin.

"You're not saying you'll reveal yourself to him!" She held her breath as she awaited Dax’s response, searching for signs of wildly irrational behavior. That was another reason it was difficult to argue with Dax:  Lusin needed to be constantly vigilant for any signs of paranoia or negative mood swings. It was hard to argue while looking for signs of the murderous host Joran resurfacing.

"No, of course not," Jadzia said.

No anger, no paranoia, no grandiose gestures, just the typical Dax condescension. Lusin felt a small flare of relief in her chest that there were no signs of Joran; then Dax had to ruin it by insisting on meeting with the Commander and his family on her own. 

***

There was one other reason it was difficult to argue with Dax: a secret  Lusin was not free to tell.

The official story of Birzam Degin was simple: she was a highly ambitious scholar, not unlike Dax, who was kidnapped by a rejected host candidate named Verad. Verad stole the Degin symbiont to implant it in himself. Trill agents tracked them to a small mountain village and discovered that Birzam was already dead.

Lusin knew the true story, which was much messier.  Birzam was still alive when  Lusin and the medics  arrived, but was too far gone to survive a re-implantation. The medics administered pain relief medication that would ease her passing.  Birzam suffered a paradoxical reaction to the medication, and it kept her alive and awake for hours.

Lusin had sat near the makeshift surgical table and watched over  Birzam as the medics squabbled over the next steps. The light in  Birzam’s eyes was gone, as if  she’d been hollowed out spiritually as well as physically. Lusin dabbed sweat off the woman’s face, which was deathly pale under her spots .  Birzam begged for the Degin symbiont, begged for her mother, and finally, in a barely audible voice, begged for death. Lusin listened and held her hand. There was nothing else she could do; she was just  Lusin .  After four unsuccessful attempts to administer the correct mixture of drugs, Doctor  Renhol finally arrived. 

He told Lusin, “I’ll take care of this.” After he’d ended Birzam’s suffering, he told her, “Never speak of this again.” He didn’t explain why, whether he was protecting the medics, or the Symbiosis Commission, or Birzam’s family. So Lusin went home and lied to all of Birzam’s family and friends. Perhaps the lie was meant to protect them from the horrors of Birzam’s last hours. Perhaps it was meant to protect the medics. Perhaps there was another reason for it. It wasn’t her place to demand an explanation. She was just Lusin.

Later,  Lusin had informed Mauza, an exceptional Trill candidate, that she would be the new host for the  Degin symbiont.  She’d seen Mauza’s face fall as she realized that she could either accept a symbiont made available by the murder of another host, or give up her dream of becoming a joined Trill. Neither one of them questioned the terms dictated by the Symbiosis Commission; they both knew that if Mauza rejected those terms, the symbiont would be given to another who would. Lusin had seen the  newly-joined Mauza  Degin wandering the halls of the Commission for months with a haunted look in her eyes as she endured the months of testing to ensure she was ready to return to the outside world. 

Lusin wished she could tell Dax about this, say something like,  _ Can _ _ you imagine what it would be like if aliens demanded symbionts by force? If there were thousands of  _ _ Birzams _ _ all at once? I think we should do everything we can to avoid that; I  _ _ don’t _ _ care how unlikely you think that is.  _

But she was just an  unjoined Trill; it  didn’t matter what she thought or knew. Even if  she’d been free to speak, Dax  wouldn’t listen. Dax had made her contempt for her clear. She was , after all, just Lusin.


End file.
